It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
