Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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