4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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