I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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