That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
