i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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