my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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