Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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