Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
