and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
