standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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