I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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