Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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