ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it