i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
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Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila