ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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