somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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