Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
