ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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