There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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