haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
