sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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