these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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