that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
