Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
