Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
