question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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