this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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