What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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