Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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