My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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