you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
50% drunk capacity currently
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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