New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck