It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
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And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
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oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.