There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
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I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
do herpes really smell.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.