Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.