You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
