I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
