i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
