look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
