I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize