Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
