I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
