About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
