oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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