I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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