Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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