no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
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I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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