I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
