there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dignity is for republicans.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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