Dual....:-)
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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