I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
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I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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