Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
