I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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