You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
4 words: hood of his car
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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