around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
