Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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