new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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