Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just tell him i said nine months
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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