Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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