wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize