I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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