I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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