I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
