I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
